The Official Me in Me

Straight thoughts with NO CHASER!!!

Posts Tagged ‘Pain’

You know what makes me sick???

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
Listen with webreader

You know the last few days I have really been focused on the launch of my latest website “House Mixes by DJ Shhh!“. It represents my love for House Music as well as creating House Mixes. But if you know me up close and personal you would know that this site is a culmination of my time spent hosting BTR (Blogtalk Radio) Shows, having my own live internet radio station, and having the mixes downloaded by many people around the world. That is such a GREAT feeling to know the mixes were good enough for someone to do that.

But just as much as I can talk about what feels good about it, this post is not about that. It is about the things that “PISS ME OFF” not just about the business and growing in it, but also things I see everyday. And the sad part is it seems people have not only become more word sensitive, but also desperate and stupid.

Like I ride public transportation to work everyday and here in DC/MD/VA we have Smartrip Cards.
Now riders have a choice to either pay the fare (which was just recently raised for the second time in 1 year) or use the Smartrip Card. There is a PRO and CON to having this card. The PRO is all you have to do is run it across a scanner and you are on your way. The CON is it also has the RFID Chip in it. Now if you are unfamiliar with the RFID Chip I will provide the link to a video about that chip at the end of this post.  But the thing that “MAKES ME SICK” is the person who will get in front of everyone when the bus pulls up to add fare on their card. Thus holding up the people and the bus. And the thing that burns my britches even more is the person that only puts the exact fare on their card.

I mean DAMN…did you not pass a subway station where you could have added the fare on the card? Why use the card if you are only paying the minimum fare? Oh let’s not forget those folks with the baby carriages…does the sign NOT show a picture of the carriage folded? Or those DAMN people that get on the bus and stand right at the front on their DAMN cell phones blocking the way for folks to get on and off. And let’s not forget those folks who take up 2 seats for nothing. Move the HELL over…let someone sit down. Another thing that makes me sick is when a BROTHER does not offer his seat to a lady. I have been guilty of that a few times but I will give my seat up more than often.

Special dedication going out to those LOUD ASSED children, tweens (who want to be grown) and teenagers. SHUT THE HELL UP!!! We are either on our way into work or just coming from work to support your NO JOB WANTING/HAVING ASSES and the last we need to hear is your lack of respect and home training in public. The best way to fool people and have them think you have some intelligence is to simply SHUT THE HELL UP!!! Can’t forget about those mommas who allow lil’ Tay-Tay to act like a DAMN fool at home and now you in public and you can’t get him/her to sit down and be quiet. Here’s a tip…beat that lil ass before you leave home and let them know that’s what they will get if they act up in public. Learn to make that face my grandmother made when I was small. It scared the HELL OUT OF ME.

Oh yeah….I LOVE MY BBW’s but I am not too fond of OBBW’s (Over-BBW). You know them ones that take up a seat and a half, walking all slow pulling a roller bag and you can’t get by them to catch that train or bus. You know the ones that are in the middle of the elevator and you can’t get by. The ones that make them sudden stops. I know GOD didn’t put side view mirrors on your shoulders but if you see folks walking faster than you, move to the side and let them pass before you walk. They won’t get mad and you won’t get hurt. And to the woman who come out of their houses with clothes on they knew they should have changed (i.e. 2 DAMN SMALL)…look in the mirror and ask yourself that one question…WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY? And this is to include the COUGARS. Ya’ll are off the chain. I understand just because you are older than most it doesn’t mean you are dead. But your stuff sags including the skin on your face. And if it doesn’t you must be a STOLLARD & PERKINS patient….ROFLMAO

Seriously…your days of tight youthful is gone…it doesn’t mean you are not entitled to have fun, be loved, and even have sex. But DAMN where do you draw the line of maturity and just plain “DUMB-ASSED MOVE”?

Now to my FAKE-Assed Rebels. Those kats that are stuck in the time warp thinking we need to get the man. You dumb asses!!!! DO you know that your game plan is a universally known plan. Too many of ya’ll have share your plan with the world. And you are too stupid to see that you have to either shut up or change your plan. Honestly they are no longer fighting with karate or hands. Folks are getting plucked off like pedals on flowers. And the Black Panthers have all but retired. So to keep showing up in public with you camouflage clothes or your black whatever (even when it’s hot outside, don’t your dumb ass know black draws heat?) is nothing but a real sign saying “Call the Police, I am about to do something.

And for GOD’s SAKE would you young men PULL YOUR DAMN PANTS UP!!! I am so sick of seeing your drawers. The shit is old. Stupid ass did you know that is a sign of being someone’s BITCH in jail? Even though you may not be in jail it is still a played out fad. And you got the nerve to wear skinny jeans hanging off your asses. OMG….THAT IS SO GAY!!!! Little girls for GOD’s SAKE….just because you have begun to develop does not mean you have to wear less clothes. Keep your under aged ass covered up!

Now for the business side…After having been in my field for over 10++ years I have come to the conclusion that corporate is nothing but PIMPIN’ & HUSTLIN’ on the legal tip. What does that mean…Companies HUSTLE their products and services. Meanwhile they PIMP us to do the work, pay us less than we are worth and give us GREAT responsibility, and take more of our pay than they should get. And LEGALLY we have to basically put all we have on the line to prove they have wronged or abused us. And even if we prove that they have we will die before we get what is due us. They have even gone as far as giving some of our own people nice size paychecks to infiltrate our communities and race. I MEAN I AM JUST KEEPIN IT REAL!!! I have been let go, fired, laid-off, written up, reprimanded, given bad reviews, and even looked over just because I called out the LIE!!! All because they say I knew what was the REAL TRUTH. I have to listen to someone tell me all about what I could have and this person wants to throw on the table all this BULL about them knowing where I am coming from because they grew up in “Da Hood“. Most of the kats I know that are true to who they are and where they came from have to fight their superiors everyday. Just because they won’t sit there and take the lie.

They see things for what they are and get called to the table for it. And the sad part is the person running things has NO CLUE how to run the ship. Then you have those WORK HARD, GOT TO PROVE MYSELF by snitching and kissing up kind of folks overseeing us. I had a co-worker tell me and I quote “I am cut to obey rules“. I like to wanna laugh dead in his face.  So you are gonna spend the rest of your life waiting for them to tell you when you can move ahead? BULLSHIT!!! If they really don’t care about who you are, and what you bring to the game…what makes you think they are concerned about your wanting to move ahead? And what about the brother or sister that has been given a little more water to swim in their pool. They have the responsibility of saying who can and who can’t swim in the pool. (This is a metaphor) All they do is look for those people who will be down for the pool cleaning while they sit in the lawn chair soaking up rays, and when you ask to swim they tell you some crap like “If you just stick with me…I’ll let you swim soon“. They are the ones that take all the credit for your work and are quick to remind you they are concerned about how they look so do you best job and they will try to make sure you get you due compensation….Right Jay? This dude knew I had the right stuff to make it happen, he also knew I wasn’t gonna just let him string me along and when the time came to do the right thing…he thought about himself. Took food right out of my families mouth and didn’t give one good SHIT about what was gonna happen to me. THAT’S REAL. Forget him supposedly being a man of GOD. He threw his brother under the bus. He is the third “Q” I have had a bad interaction with.

I am sure some of you REAL FOLKS can identify. It is getting late but I am not finish….until next post….that’s my 2 cents, spend it wisely.

Really…Who the “F” do you think you are???

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010
Listen with webreader

Okay so I have really been busy compared to what I normally am. I am really excited and focused on my site launch and that is really my primary focus. Out side of that during the day I am doing the IT thing at Children’s Hospital. And for me it is the thing that is feeding my family and my business. But unless you are in my shoes (regardless of your own personal position) you probably would have no F’n clue where my heart or my mind is. Some of you are close enough to me to have an idea so you get the pass…but all you motherfuckers whom I have told exactly where I am at mentally and you didn’t take my words for what they were…this post is for you!!!

THE GREAT EXPERIMENT…at it’s best:

Firstly let me point out something…I am a GEMINI!!! I think is it one of the best zodiac signs to have because it allows you the ability to change or camouflage at the blink of an eye and the only one that know is you…ha…ha…ha

Being who I am…there are a couple things you must know about me, (and honestly I could care less if you take heed to this or not. If I “kirk-out” on your ass that is because you was not paying attention to this very important information) I come from a family of “Hustlers” and they all woman. My grandmother, my mother, my aunts were lady hustlers. I had some a couple male cousins who had legit side businesses that I picked up something from too. What was that something? It was I was born to be a business owner, not spend the rest of my life working for someone else making them rich and hoping when my time came to retire be able to live and pay my bills.

So my mind is constantly on a way to LEGITIMATELY make money to support my family, my business, and myself. Speaking of family…that is another motivating factor. As much as I have started to get to this place where internally not knowing my father is what it is, that is still a big deal to me. It is what makes me go through what I go through daily. And like many of you I don’t have to go through NOTHING if I so choose not to. But for the sake of my family and the promises I made to them and myself I go through. But don’t sleep and think I won’t tell your ass where to get off at.

Which segways into what I want to call “Sean’s Great Experiment“:

This experiment has been done numerous times and in numerous places without any warning. And it is amaizing the things I learn and equally funny how the test subjects act before, during, and after the experiment. I am in the middle of it right now but “what the hell” I wanted to write about this one. It has been said if you don’t want them to know but it in a book because they won’t read it. Well I have been blogging for a while now and I can be honest….based upon the responses…not too many folks are really reading the blog. The lack of comments from real people, the lack of emails or phone calls, and the stats I get says it all. PROVE ME WRONG!!!!

In almost every job I have worked on I have always prided myself on being the one who tries to make the day fun and easy going. Even when I am going through my own personal issues and concerns, I will come to work laughing, smiling, and cutting up just to make the day easier. Whether you know it or not it takes a helluva lot to do that because at the end of the day I still have to deal with what I left outside the job. And just because I may be in the mindset to resolve it doesn’t always mean other parties are…and that is just life as we know it.

So last week I woke up and decided I needed to try to get a few things done for my site launch. Now this meant when I got to work I was really gonna have to focus on both the job and what I needed to do for the site. That meant no coming in bouncing off the walls and cutting jokes. Now I get in and say good morning to everyone and jump right into what I needed to do. And within a few hours folks began asking me “What’s wrong?”. Of course there was nothing wrong with me and I don’t know how many times I had to explain nothing was wrong, I was just focused on getting a few task done. I don’t know how many ways or forms of dialect I had to use just to say “NOTHING IS WORNG”.

I even explained it 1-on-1 to a few co-workers. Out of the 5 (that I remember telling 1-on-1) coworkers only 1 wanted to be an asshole about it. So I figured I would remained focused and get the task at hand done. Mind you it really did PISS ME OFFbecause of his response to another coworker about my being quiet. I had to slightly step out of character just to let him know I didn’t appreciate the fact that he was making light of something I said I needed to do. But in turn it made me want to continue on being quiet because I wanted to actually find out about the kats I work with. And so we roll into the second day. I come in quietly, say good morning to the co-workers and get ready to get to work.

Now all of a sudden selected folks don’t want to talk to me. And you can tell they don’t because in their body language it says…”We think something is wrong”. My question is this…”Where the HELL is it written that I can’t be quiet if I want to?” I mean it is busy enough in this place and I have earned the right to mentally and verbally chill without issues. And even if it was something wrong I bet those same fools (who thought something was wrong) wouldn’t do JACK SHIT to help me out. One thing I am sick of hearing from people is “Don’t worry it will be alright“. I am a believer in this saying “GOD helps those who help themselves“. I don’t believe in praying until your knees are raw and waiting for someone to drop it in your lap. I have been through that “I PROMISE” crap.

And the biggest thing is this…keeping me motivated to go after that which I desire and keeping my faith during the process is task enough. So I DAMNsure nuff don’t have time to wait for someone to get to me when they feel they are ready to, or give me half of what I specifically stated I needed. So I have learned so much about the kats that I work with and it has been such an eye opener. We got one that swears he knows everything from a technical sense and on my worse day he still could match me. This dude takes a simple ticket and makes it seem like Geometry & Chinese Arithmeticwrapped up in one. Then we got one that is and I quote the words that came out of his mouth “Cut to obey rules”. That’s a load of bullshit! This is the same kat that made such a stink about feeling like he offended someone by not speaking english with another coworker on the elevator here at work. But he speaks his native tongue with that same coworker when they are down here in our office. What a contradiction!!!

And the sad part is it is like crabs in the barrel. Everybody in their own way is shooting for the same thing…a permanent position but don’t have no scruples on how they go about it. I come from that school where you just do your work, ask for help when you need it, and be happy that you were able to help someone out. Short & Simple! In the end you see that “A paycheck is better than NO paycheck“. Now I will say this…There are a few here I would work with in a heartbeat because we have the same ideology. It’s not about stepping on someones back to get out but extending a hand to pull someone out with you. I have a great amount of respect for them all but I am gonna be who I am and that is that.

I will work with them (when I have to), and party with them (when I want to) but  am not gonna change who I am because for the sake of something that is not promised to me. I am not stupid. I have worked contracting before and we all think the same way “I want to make this position permanent” unless we are actually making some real money on the side. Some of us work together in hopes of being kept and some of us will cut a motherfuckers throat to get the position. What even funnier is how some of them act like they are gonna get a commission on the tickets they are doing. It’s a shame we have elvolved into these kind of folks.

I mean really “Who the “F” do you think you are“? NEVER FORGET….Just as quick as you have it, that shit could be taken away from you. I have lived that one and know. Let me do what I have to do and stop trying to put on me what isn’t of me!

BP Oil Spill (Live Feed)

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010
Listen with webreader

Now this has been the source of many conversations as of lately. I am just gonna throw my 2 cents in the pot real quick….

The other night on the news they talked about how BP failed for the umpteenth time to stop the oil leak. My wife comments “Well gas prices are gonna go up more now”. I responded “Forget the gas prices, look at all these lives and sources of incomes that have been wrecked”. And this is exactly where my heart is. Now I will openly admit that I feel this is just a setup to make President Obama look uncompetent and inaffective as a president. For quite a few years now we have settled for backward assed politicing and this is like the ultimate in that.

On my way home today I heard on the radio that the government is gonna give BP a 69 billion or million dollar bill for this oil spill and the have until June or July to pay it. My question is this…Who is getting the F*in money? Are checks gonna be written out to those men & woman who fish, crab, and shrimp catch for a daily living? Or is that payment gonna go towards the Untied States debt? I mean really I haven’t heard anything about the government having to spen jack for relief, overtime for cleaning shorelines or anything else. The folks in Louisiana have yet to really recover from Katrina as of today. See for yourself…

Now what does that say to you??? For me it sounds like another way for the government to basically move folks out so the can set up a sudo city made for all of the import/export businees the US does. I mean I am just keeping this real because even I am affected by some of the dumb-assed, non-thinking, poorly calculated decisions our elected officials have made and are making. Why is it okay for a CEO to continue to make large salaries and the average worker gets a cut in pay, laid-off, or setup and fired? I mean I just don’t get that. Sure there needs to be someone overseeing the daily functions of a business, but outside of taking a vacation right after a vacation isn’t considered work to me. Making decisions to buy new furniture instead of making sure your infrastructure is up to par is not good business decision making and it sure does not show me you are worthy of the salary you are making. Hiring a manager for a department instead of making sure you have a staff to support that manager first is not showing me you are worht the salary you are making.

How is it the  CEO and front face of BP still have their jobs and salaries? I mean didn’t they sign off on the off shore deal? Didn’t they lie about being able to deal with a situation like this? Were they not the ones who were accessories to MURDER? That’s right I said MURDER. Clearly they were more caught up in making the money instead of making sure the workers were protected? And now these same people have NO CLUE what to do, let alone how to stop this disater. Even though I don’t live anywhere near the major affected areas I have NO DOUBTS it will have a lasting effect on my daily life. It will hit my pockets when I go to buy food. We don’t really used gas but we do eat. My wife loves crabs and I love shrimp. Not only the seafood but I think it will have and effect on all food.

If the oil gets soaked up in the dirt and soil of fruits and vegetables will be effected. Our animals will ingest grass, dirt and soil that could possibly become tainted from the absorbtion of the oil. I mean there is a possibility of things that could happen and BP is sitting around with their thumbs in their asses and our government is acting like it is not a priority. And most importantly as long as this oil is spilling, the market drops. When the market drops, businesses lose money. When businesses lose money, companies lay-off, fire, or shut down.

So yes this ordeal will have a lasting impact on us all…. Look at the live feed. I hope it inspires you to speak up.

Broadcasting Live with Ustream.TV

Why…BLACK MAN…Why

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010
Listen with webreader

***WARNING THIS POST MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE, LANGUAGE MAY BE STRONG, AND THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE WRITER…NOT THE WEB HOSTING SERVICE***

Over the last few weeks I have gone over and over in my mind how I have managed to lose some opportunities at the hands of a BLACK MAN and all I can ask is “Why…Black Man…Why“?

Now as always I write this (like many other post) owning up to my own mistakes. I mean who is without fault? But I also write this with a heavy heart for many reasons. The biggest being seeing HOPE for a better black world slowly go down the tubes. BY THE HANDS OF A BLACK MAN! We have gotten away from the togetherness and comradery that existed in the days of slavery when our black men fought our masters for their families and their freedom. Grant you not all fought but quite a few did. Many lost their lives for this. We have gotten away from the togetherness and comradery that existed during the era of segregation when our black men stood on the front lines and marched (not forgetting our woman) against racist citizens who allowed dogs to bite us, firemen to spray us with their water hoses, police to beat us with their clubs, and racist groups to burn crosses in our yards and hang us.

WHY…BLACK MAN…WHY?
Continue Reading…