For the last few post I have commented on the Tiger Woods saga (because that is what it is from the press perspective) as well as talked about being “Tiger-Wooded” a few days after. I have really tried my best to open myself in these post because it needed to be done. Over the last week it has been silent between my wife & I. I have been sleeping in the family room section of the house. Thank GOD for carpet because I would have froze my toes off down here.

I have been dealing with my own personal disappointment in my actions and trying to keep a straight head while at work. It hasn’t been easy at all and I appreciate the support and prayers I have gotten from those I have confided in during this time of transition. But I am now preparing for the biggest transition that will be taking place in the new year.

This past week I went to look at some apartments and was successful in getting one. I got it for quite a few reasons and because I could afford it was not at the top of the list. For the last few weeks the air in the house has been really tight. And I have thought about that a lot. See when my wife & I have disagreements the children tend to stay away from me…even when I am right and they know it. And the last disagreement we had revealed to me something that was said to me by my father-in-law before I got married to his daughter.

He said to me “You don’t have to married to my daughter to be a good father”. And I disputed him. But in light of the events I am realizing he was right. My biggest wish is that her and the children are able to freely move through this house without having to feel like certain sections are off limits due to a disagreement that they have nothing to do with. I feel like even if I initiate the conversation it is gonna be very hostile and we will not be able to communicate. There have been many small signs that all is lost beside the fact the press has already said T-Dub is on the same path of divorce.

I can’t really compare his life to my life like that but there are parallels. As wrong as he may have been it does not negate the fact that men are cut that way. It is not to say you should just allow your man to freely roam but it is to say even if he doesn’t touch he more than likely will flirt at some point and time. And woman are not excluded from this because they flirt too. I am not stupid by a long shot. I have seen my wife smile when other men compliment her. I have complimented her, sent her flowers, got her gifts for nothing, and tried to do whatever I could to show her what she means to me and how much I love her.

But it is cool to reject my efforts and that she has done and has done for a while. Now to hear her tell it she will start the sentence off with “I thought”…which says to me even when I was clearly specific she was not listening and didn’t care. Seems to me no matter what a guy does or tries to do he will be wrong. Either you don’t give enough, you don’t do anymore, you don’t tell me anymore, or any of those things. And if he does then it is not what she wanted. Men have wants too. But because most of the conversation centers around her and what she wants, what she doesn’t have to take off of him, and all the things that basically says she doesn’t have to do anything to keep her relationship it is really easy for her to roll out.

Well in this case I am the one that will be leaving. I am going because it is over. Like I wrote in the last post the trust is gone and the love has died! This was not, is not, and will not be easy for me at all mentally, emotionally, physically, or financially. But I believe she and the children deserve to move freely through the house and if my being here causes friction and tension it is in the best interest of all parties I move.

Maybe then things will be better for everybody.