The Official Me in Me

WOW!!! Is it me or have we really ran out of ways to exist peacefully? Or at least try? I mean the T-Dub (Tiger Woods) saga keeps on going. And so does mine.

Now they are checking his doctor out
Doctor involved in doping case charged in Canada

And why am I getting this feeling that they are really out for blood from T-Dub? I mean what does his doctor have to do with anything that is going on? I don’t remember them saying T-Dub was going through a (performance enhancer) steroid episode and drove his truck into a fire hydrant & tree. Think they are gonna try to say he was on illegal performance enhancement drugs when he was competing? If they try…that is out right dirty. But all I can ask is this…”T-Dub, how does it feel to a BLACK MAN bro“?

See Bernie Madoff made off with billions of other peoples money and what he got was small compared to what’s happening to you. Every once in a while you might hear something about him or what happened but T-Dub even though some have said your being quiet and concentrating on home is the right thing to do, DUDE…your silence is really LOUD right now. I mean what could you possibly say that would SHUT the public up right now??

Nothing really because the world is COLD & UNFORGIVING. And it is easy to kick you while you are down rather than try to help you protect those little pieces of normalcy of your life that is left. Brother I totally understand. Hell I am living from paycheck to paycheck and in the back of my mind really believe and feel I am not that far from divorce myself. And I have 3 children I will want to take care of even if their mother doesn’t want me to. Then there is the house we both signed for. I would rather see them in that home and I move out if that has to happen.

GIVE UP!?!?!? Hell naw, never that but there is nothing I could say publicly or privately that could sway the tide in my favor. The DAMAGE is done and the TRUST is gone. (Sitting here laughing my ass of because I never hit it and my marriage is over just like T-Dub’s)…Freakin WOW!!! Speaking of trust I think that was gone a long time ago. To be honest I don’t think there was any trust going into the marriage but maybe somewhere we both had this crazy idea we could possibly change each other…FUNNY AIN’T IT???

Isn’t it funny how we get in relationships and marriages thinking we can change the person we are with? And then when we realize we can’t we become DISAPPOINTED & DEPRESSED. One thing I have learned about myself is I would never ask anyone for anything I wouldn’t be willing to give. I have learned to NEVER EXPECT anything from someone because in most cases you don’t get what you specifically want. Now this is not to say reject or disregard the efforts but it is to say appreciate what you get from the person and never stop telling them how much you appreciate it.

I will be honest when I will say that has been one of the many challenges in this marriage. At least for me because in most situations compliments given are responded to with “Are you sure”? Now some can say nothing is wrong with that but I say when you question or doubt yourself you won’t recieve the fullness of the compliment given. The reason why is because you only hear what you want to hear. Now just as much as we (the mate) are supposed to stand strong through crap like this…IT CAN DRAIN THE HELL OUT OF A PERSON!!!

I can go on for days about the wrongs in relationships and marriage but let me say this about the MOST IMPORTANT RIGHT about it. For a moment in time you felt the purest of the emotion called LOVE and there was nothing like it. I can personally say that. What happened? I honestly can’t say but I know when I felt it deminishing I didn’t do what I should have to give it life again. I take the hit for where I fell short and was wrong. But know that inside I cry because I lost it.

I can only hope before this life is over we both find the purest of the emotion called LOVE again. With that being said check out some of the stories that not only exhibit the stress of being in LOVE but also what happens when you give up. LOVE HARD, NOT CRAZY!!!